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Ejaculatory difficulties

There are three different ejaculation problems. ‘Premature ejaculation’ is ejaculation either before or very soon after starting sexual intercourse. ‘Retarded ejaculation’ happens when a man has to have sex for a very long time before he ejaculates, or cannot ejaculate at all. ‘Retrograde ejaculation’ is when the man feels he has had an orgasm, but no semen comes out of the penis, because it has passed backwards into the bladder.

Strategies:

Premature ejaculation [Coming too quickly]

Try to extend the time you can masturbate before ejaculating.

Think of non-sexual things while having sex.

Minimise thrusting, occasionally withdrawing altogether (stop/start technique). Speak to a sexual health counsellor or doctor.

Retarded ejaculation

See a doctor to make sure there are no physical causes why you can’t ejaculate. If there are no physical causes, learn to ejaculate first through masturbation. You can use erotic fantasies and/ or sexually stimulating magazines to help you masturbate. A lotion applied to the penis can also enhance sensations and reduce likelihood of soreness.

Retrograde ejaculation

You need to see your doctor.

Self-help book

These can be bought or borrowed from a library. Men and sex by Bernie Zilbergeld is a useful book for men experiencing difficulties with ejaculation.

Sexual counselling

Sexual counsellors can be found at:
– Brain Injury Rehabilitation Unit, Liverpool Hospital
– Local sexual health clinic
– ASSERT [Australian Society of Sex Educators, Researchers and Therapists]
– Family Planning Association
– Australian Psychological Society have a list of psychologists who specialise in sexual counselling

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