Verbal and non-verbal components of communication about sexuality

Communication is both verbal and non-verbal. People with head injury can retain the ability to respond to tone of voice even when understanding of the meaning of words is lost. Even when there is no loss of understanding, people who have had head injuries may respond to tone of voice instead of the actual words.

Emotion is commonly revealed in tone of voice. In dealing with clients' sexual issues, workers' emotions (such as embarrassment or anger) can show in the tone of voice, even when the words used are appropriate for the situation. As workers, we need to listen to how we talk and we need to be able to speak unemotionally when that is necessary.

Body language also provides important clues in communication, for example gesture is often used with people who have aphasia and no longer understand the meaning of words.

Emotion is also revealed in body language. For example, when someone is angry he or she may move more quickly than when calm, or someone who is embarrassed may break eye contact and look away.

Clothing also provides information in an interaction between people. If we are working with someone who has problems with disinhibition and control, our "don't touch" message will work better if we are not wearing sexy clothes.

Matching verbal and non-verbal communication to get a message across effectively

Strategies for matching modes of communication include checking that words, tone of voice, facial expression, body language, eye contact, clothes (where appropriate) are all saying the same thing and that there is no confusion between different parts of the message.

If the verbal message is "Masturbate in the bedroom, not the lounge" and the non-verbal message is disapproval, the client will conclude either that he/she is in trouble, or that masturbation is disgusting, or that the worker does not like him or her. The intention of confining sexual activities to private instead of public space may be missed altogether.